bittersweet goodbyes

so i've officially finished my volunteering stint in costa rica..the last day at carmelo was bittersweet. it's weird because i felt like i didn't really get to know anyone since i couldn't have really in-depth conversations with them but at the same time i felt connected to them, even after only working there for 4 weeks. the kids were funny...they acted sad when i said it was my last day but i also think that they didn't fully understand that i actually wouldn't be coming back. they haven't really grasped the whole "world concept" so it's been kind of funny. almost every day i get asked if i really live in the united states. i don't know if they think it's some kind of joke or they are just actually confused but it's kind of funny. one day, a little girl was like....so, you take a plane here every day from the united states?! haha you can't help but laugh, right?! i think above anything, the teachers will miss the extra set of hands and a native english speaker in the class. the woman that works with the younger kids was really sweet, offering her gratitude and thanking me in english and spanish, giving me multiple hugs, even getting herself choked up that she started to cry :( seeing her like this really made it set in for me that i was done volunteering but also that i did in fact help and make a difference working with the kids.

after my day of work, i got home and just got even more sad as reality set in---it was my last night with my host family and it was time to pack up the past three months of my life. (i do have a few more days in costa rica but i am heading to the beach for one last adventure with my friends here!) after dinner, fernanda's friend cynthia came over. especially during the beginning of my time here, i got to know cynthia pretty well because she would come over almost every night and we would all sit together at the table and i would help them with their english homework. since then, cynthia has had a little baby girl so it was the first time i'd seen her in a long time and also the first time i got to meet her daughter, bianca. my family was really cute and made a little cake as a special going away treat so we all sat and chatted, enjoyed our dessert and took turns passing the baby around.

it is a weird feeling because sometimes i felt so disconnected living here---a lot of the time i didn't feel at home and constantly felt as a guest in their house so i could never really be totally comfortable and at ease, like i am at home. but then on my last night, it was such a different feeling and i realized that this family WAS a part of my life for 3 months and we did develop a family-type of bond through all the time we spent together so either way, i am sad to be leaving them. :( this whole week has just been so weird for me, as reality is setting in that i am really going home in less than a week. when i arrived here in january, i felt like march 31st was years away and that i had so much time here... but the more comfortable i got with a routine, volunteering, etc, the faster time seemed to slip away. i am so thankful that i chose to do this at this point in time. yeah, it has depleted my bank account a little more than i expected but i wouldn't change any of it for the world. i have really enjoyed working with the kids and stepping a little outside of my comfort zone with the environment and language and everything, but i have also been fortunate enough to meet some truly great people that have done nothing but enhanced my experience here. for the past three months, i have been reminding myself--- you only live once so live it up and enjoy every moment of it and i feel that that is really what i have done here.

my last morning commute through san jose----

one of the statues in the city that i pass every morning haha

negro, the family dog, awaiting my arrival home

baby bianca

i don't like food or anything ;)

fernanda, the younger of my house sisters

my costa rican mom, maria

carolina, the older sister

i'm bringing home a pet monkey from puerto viejo

okay well not really but i certainly wish i was! seeing monkeys was one of the fun things i got to do this weekend, when i ventured by myself to the caribbean coast to puerto viejo. it's this hip little rasta town filled with lots of bars and restaurants, mainly geared toward the younger backpacking crowd. for some reason going to the caribbean is always hit or miss with the weather and theres always a lot of rain so you kind of just have to hope for the best but be able to go with the flow....i arrived in the rain friday morning to this trendy little town and things looked promising as it was starting to clear up. so i went about 20 minutes north to the cahuita national park in search of some animals. unfortunately about 10 minutes into my hike through the forest, the skies opened so i think all the monkeys went into hiberntion somewhere so i was unsuccessful in any sightings but the park itself was really beautiful, with paths all along the beach. i got back and wandered around the town for a bit before finding myself an imperial and a hammock and relaxing for an hour or so. saturday brought me to the most delicious little breakfast place---so good that i felt the need to return again sunday morning! all their breads and baked goods are homemade, organic, yaddy yaddy yadda---basically some of the best pancakes and bagels... and brownies i've ever tasted! you know me and my sweets....give me good chocolate and you'll win over my heart! haha

most people in puerto viejo's method of transportation is their bike. some have extra seats built on the back or in between the handlebars, most are adorned with a large basket in the front which houses everything from groceries to dogs to children. it's kind of entertaining sitting on the roadside and watching all the people ride by---you can tell the locals by the ones that have someone else in tow---a child on the back or in their arms, a spouse sitting on the bar between the seat and the handlebars. i even saw a man carting his wife who was holding a child---talk about exercise huh?! saturday i joined the trend and rented a bike---i forgot how much fun it is! (or at least at first!) it's funny because for such a bike-riding oriented town, the roads are in horrible conditions----its pavement and bumpy dirt roads on and off the entire way through town, pot holes and huge rocks everywhere...it's hard enough watching for oncoming traffic then you have to pay careful attention to where there's a semi-flat pathway to ride on! so i went from puerto viejo all the way down to manzanillo which is a 12km ride each way (approx 7 miles). on the way, the road parallels the beach and it's really cool riding because all the beaches are so different....you start at a black sand beach with tons of debris on it and no swimmers and gradually get to lighter sand, more beach goers and a ton of surfers so it was kind of cool. manzanillo was really beautiful as well---it kind of gives off this feeling like you're at the end of the world because there's not much there, just a few houses and a lot of beach!

on the return trip, i made two stops. the first to chocorart, an organic cocoa plantation. i really wanted to see how it was grown, picked, made, etc but i refused the $25 tour fee so instead i just settled for 2 different types of chocolate that the guy made that were so delcious----totally puts hersheys and all the rest to shame! my second stop---and the highlight of the whole weekend----was to the jaguar rescue center where they rehabilitate mistreated, injured and/or confiscated animals, which are then reintroduced to their natural habitat in protected areas. when i went they had a baby jaguar, 2 baby sloths and 8 baby howler monkeys and a few others but the monkeys were clearly my favorite! the ride totally wiped me out---my legs and butt killed from the 15+ miles on the bike so i took a little siesta on the beach and then made my way back to return my bike in town.

now they say sometimes you're just in the right place at the right time and boy was that ever true saturday afternoon! i was going along the sidewalk to return my bike and all of a sudden hear this "hey beth!" from someone on the street, turn and look and it's my friend anne from bourne (who studied in costa rica last fall and is now teaching at a school in panama)! SO CRAZY that we would be in the same beach town on the same weekend and neither of us knew that the other was there! so we chatted for a bit and later enjoyed a lovely little saturday night on the town with dinner and drinks and filling each other in on our lives in foreign countries! as if i'm not getting excited enough about going home in a week....seeing a friend from home down here made me that much MORE anxious and excited for the 31st to get here!

the weekend was definately interesting and going somewhere by yourself puts a whole new spin on things. yeah, it was a little lonely at times and i probably would have enjoyed doing some other things or venturing to more places but parts of me didn't feel safe being by myself. but at the same time, it was really nice and super relaxing to be able to do whatever it was that i wanted to do----no waiting for people to get ready or debating where to eat or how to spend the day---everything was all about me so in a way, it was kind of nice to treat myself to a weekend like that :)

cahuita national park

wearing glasses in the rain is no bueno :(

playa negra!

baby sloths

baby monkeys!

quite interested in my earrings

typical family outing

coral reef

life as a teacher....costa rican style

this whole teaching thing has definately been interesting----similar to teaching at home in the sense that it is an emotional rollercoaster every day. some days are a lot of fun and i really enjoy myself and others are more draining and difficult and i can't wait to get on the bus back to san pedro. i've been there for almost 3 weeks and i am still trying to figure out how the school works and the logic behind some of the their methods...as a lot of things in costa rica, sometimes there is no answer and we just say..."only in costa rica" but i've been trying to compile all the things i've noticed over the past few weeks so here it goes....
- every class has 30-40 kids, which as you can imagine makes it incredibly difficult to do anything effective in short amounts of time

- the kids don't seem to receive grades for anything. i don't know if they do in their "real" subjects, outside of english class but from what i have seen, their schoowork is mostly using "textbooks" compiled of worksheets and busywork types of pages. the teacher might collect worksheets or homework to check off but i've never seen actual grades on anything
- the teachers all have empty desks. no stacks of papers to correct, computers, books, supplies, etc. part of this could be because of the previously stated idea but still i find it weird. i've never seen a real planbook or papers and materials stored for the day. their desktops are literally bare!

- each grade has this little bound book that is turned in at the end of the week. they use it for attendance each day. then on the inside cover there is a list of 8-10 different comments with things like "missing materials, homework, book, etc", "difficulty working with classmates", "social interaction problems" and other various things along these lines. these occurences are "supposed" to be documented when they happen during the week, down to the specific day and period, by putting the corresponding number in the correct grid box next to the kid's name. at the end of the week, the book is turned into the "Sister" (the nun who is the "principal" of the school). i don't know how serious the recordings are taken or how much they're even looked at but i guess it is their way of trying to keep track of major discipline issues

- the school has a male secretary...i don't really know what he does all day, since whenever i go to his little office window, he is on facebook or skype but the more i thought about it, i don't know if i can ever recall seeing a male in a secretarial type of role in the u.s.

- there is 1 copy machine in the school and the secretary guy is the only one who can use it so when you want something copied, you have to bring it to him and have him do it. all copies (or at least all that i have seen or received) are on recycled paper, which is cool to save paper but also with the kids, it can be distracting because they are more concerned about what is on the back than what it is we are actually working on

- school starts at 7:15 for all kids. 1st-7th have "merienda" (snack) break from 9:15-9:30 and then another recreo" (recess) break from 11-11:15. the kids sit on the floor outside their classroom for snacktime and then the recess break is just kind of a free for all when the kids cankind of run all around but stay inside the school building. 1st-6th graders are done for the day at 12:45. 7th graders have 1/2 hour for lunch then have 2 more periods until 3pm. the preschool and kindergarten kids leave at 11:30.
- teachers are only allowed to drink coffee (and snack for that matter) during the 9:15-9:30 time. and yes, the other girl volunteering got "scolded" for having coffee after that time was over. isn't it weird to think you couldn't make your regular coffee stop in the morning on the way to work?!

- bathrooms don't actually have any paper products. each classroom has their own supply of toilet paper and most of the teachers fold small sections of toilet paper into a designated spot in their classroom so when the kids ask to go to the bathroom, they have to take a piece with them

- there is no nurse in the school. each classroom has a little medicine cabinet type of thing on a shelf and the teacher serves as the "nurse" when needed

- parents don't have much to do with school---the only time i ever see them is when they are dropping off or picking up their kids. i haven't seen any helping in classrooms or even coming in to meet with a teacher

- teachers all basically leave right with the kids at the end of the day---i've never seen them staying after to correct papers, prep for the coming days, etc. so do they just do the work at home? is the workload a lot less? i can't figure it out.

- the teachers don't seemed to be phased when kids are constantly talking and fidgeting. maybe it's different when they're studying math or spanish but usually there is only a handful of kids participating and others are kind of off in their own world. this drives me crazy so i am usually the one wandering around the classroom telling them to stop talking, pay attention, listen, etc etc but the actual teachers never really say much

- each class has phys.ed. once a week for 90 minutes. on these days, they have a "p.e. uniform" of navy shorts with the school logo and gray school t-shirts--instead of their usual collared shirts and khakis or skirts. as for other specials, they have some kind of music class and social studies once a week for 90 minutes. i know the older kids also have civics, art, and religion. i haven't figured out what grade those special start at tho---maybe 4th or 5th?

i also have noticed a HUGE difference when working with the two different english teachers. working with annette (the woman working with the younger kids), it's a lot of coloring and singing, even with the 1st and 2nd graders. most of the classes, we just orally practice english words so it makes me think that they have no idea what sounds the letters make or possibly what some of the letters look like. but wouldn't that be the point of teaching them the language? (another one of those things that doesn't make sense to me) the more i've thought about it though, i think it also has a lot to do with the teacher's knowledge and level of confidence in her english. i think i already wrote this but she has been studying english for less than 6 months and is somehow teaching these kids so a lot of times when we're showing them picture flashcards, she has to stop and ask me what the word is or she just has me say the words for the class from the start. needless to say, i think she's going to miss me when i leave! the other teacher, jessica, speaks english really well so she talks a lot more to the kids in english. she usually tries to give directions and explanations in english but then when the kids have the puzzled looks and blank stares, she then translates to spanish. whereas annette talks in spanish for the majority of the class and tries to just say the basic instructional phrases in english. i definately enjoy working with the older kids more just because i feel like they actually benefit from me being there and i am actually teaching them something. most days, jessica sends me out of the class with a group of 5-10 and i work with them on going over homework, translating a reading, or solely conversing in english. the kids are really cute because they get so nervous and worked up when trying to figure out how to a) understand what i am saying to them and b) express themselves in english. it's funny because i totally feel their pain---- them speaking english is pretty much how i must sound attempting to speak in spanish! the overall experience in the school is really interesting though. not only am i teaching the kids but they are teaching me as well so it's made it special and is definately really rewarding for me (at least to think that i am even helping these kids a little)!

trust in traveling

i have definately learned a lot about myself being here and one thing that keeps crossing my mind is how easily people are to trust one another while traveling. it's weird because when i think of home and all the people in my life, i can probably count on my hands the number of people that i actually can trust---with information, secrets, my life. but being here, you kind of have to be quick to do so, usually because of the living and working situations and the short time you actually spend together. staying in hostels is the biggest thing that comes to my mind with the issue of trust----most weekends we stay in hostels with other 20-somethings that are here traveling through central america and everyone just automatically trusts each other and you can safely leave your clothes, towels, toiletries, etc in the room and not have anything to worry about. most hostels have lockers where you can lock up your valuables and usually your entire backpacks. this past weekend i went to tamarindo with jenny (the other volunteer that works at the school with me) and the hostel we stayed at was quite interesting....we were bummed right off the bat to see that all they had to offer for "lockers" were ones the size of post office boxes that you could literally just fit your money and passport in so right then, i was nervous as to the safety of my things...and then we walked into our room the first night to our 2 roommates----2 55+ year old men. interesting pairing for two girls in their 20s, right?? we got to tamarindo around 9pm and even just to go out to get some food, we were thinking---can we leave our stuff with these guys in the room? that first night definately gave me a different vibe from any other situation of sharing living spaces, actually feeling like i had to sleep with my backpack and belongings up on my top bunk with me. needless to say, we were glad when we got switched for our 2nd night to a different room. our new room was also 2 guys but they were also closer to our age and gave off more of the "typical" hostel feel---being able to leave things in the room without having to worry that someone is going to go through your bags or take your belongings.

i also learned about trust in a different way this weekend----i never realized it until i was faced with a situation first hand but drinking in a foreign country (or anywhere for that matter but i guess especially here) is definately scary and requires a lot of trust.....something that i lost for costa rica this weekend. saturday night we set out with intentions of a great night ahead----dinner at this hip little japanese/thai restaurant, 80s night where ladies drink free from 9-11pm at one bar, and a surf competition after party with an open bar 10pm-12am at another bar. dinner was delicious----probably the best pad thai i ever had. 80s night was fun---jenny and i were drinking guaro (the costa rican sugarcane liquor) with pineapple juice....the drinks were good but not too strong, since obviously they were free. we then moved on to the surf party that was up on a 2nd floor bar. it was completely packed, crazy techno music, strobe lights, the whole deal....after a drink, i started to feel light headed, in need of fresh air and a seat. once i got outside on the balcony and sat down on a bar stool, the next 20 minutes is a complete messy blur. according to jenny, i was in and out of consciousness, only sometimes able to answer her "beth can you hear me?" i can only imagine her end of the situation with me being nonresponsive :( when i finally "came to" i had fallen off the stool and was in a heap on the floor of the bar, my body soaked in sweat and my dress soaked in spilled drinks. i have to say that this was definately one of the scariest experiences in my life---it took me some time to grasp my surroundings and what happened but then once i realized the crowd of onlookers surrounding me, i felt nothing but panic and complete embarrassment. the weird part was after sitting in a quiet space and having a bottle of water, i felt completely fine and walked back to our hostel like nothing happened. i still dont even know what happeened---was it alcohol posioning? roofies slipped in my drink? a weird allergic reaction? any doctors in the fan club that have any ideas or experience with this kind of situation? it was seriously the weirdest and scariest thing ever and i am still so shooken up by it....so needless to say, i feel like i can't trust the bartenders here so for the rest of the time here, i'm strictly sticking to imperials.

aside from the traveling and social scenes,  volunteering takes on a different kind of trust fairly quickly. especially at the school, i feel like they are quick to trust you, your abilities and your knowledge and very easily give you responsiblities within the classroom. for me, this is perfect and i am glad that it is like this---i of course have a lot of experience in classrooms and working with kids so i am completely comfortable but what if i didn't have expereience? how would they know? and would they still so easily trust me and have such expectations of me? it definately is interesting and has gotten me thinking a lot about the whole concept of trust and how different i feel about it after being here.

soaking up some sun

i think this dog was a better surfer than i am

jenny & i

working with the preschoolers on family vocabulary

one of my favorite little boys on "color day"---no uniforms! yippie!

some cool artwork in a tamarindo boutique

carmelo through pictures

centro educativo el carmelo

typical classroom----they all have 30-40 kids in a class

yes, that's plastic outdoor furniture that they use as "desks"

the books in the classroom---pretty much all textbooks and teacher manuals

imagine your teacher desk looking like that?!

snack time!---all the older kids (1st-7th grades) get 2 15-min breaks during the day...one at 9:15 for snack and a second at 11am for "recess" or free time outside the classroom 

the outdoor play area for the little kids (preschool and kindergarten)

getting in a circle for english class

learning about the family

this is the penmanship they're taught, starting in 1st grade

a first grader's folder---they all have a file folder like this and are taught starting in 1st grade how to organize their papers according to their subjects. how ambitious of the teachers, right?!

today was "el dia de la mujer" or "international women's day" which celebrates the struggle that women endured to gain equal rights in society, and especially in the working world. so today they handed out cards and candy to all the women working in the school...my rough translation is:

"happy day. virtuous woman. who will find her? because your esteem/being far exceeds the distance to those that are precious "

like i said it's a ROUGH translation---doesn't really make sense but it's supposed to show gratitude and respect, etc etc

weekend escape to la playa :)

well-deserved drinks with jenny...the other volunteer working with me at carmelo

another glorious weekend in the sun <3